bamfbercow
16 June 2017 @ 06:10 pm
 I married him.
 
 
bamfbercow
15 June 2016 @ 06:52 am
 First to the new Lords' Speaker elected, one [personal profile] lord_fowler who will be taking up his new role in September. [personal profile] dasouzzle I am sure that you will be much missed by members of the other place and your continued support and expertise has been invaluable to me over the years that you have held the incredible post. Norman certainly has some very big boots to fill!

And second of all I do believe that we should all be congratulating [personal profile] therealpm on his new position also - that of Chancellor of Manchester Metropolitan University. 
Peter's new robes
Good luck trying to take the piss out of my official robes of state again, Peter - at least I don't wear a stupid hat...

Congratulations all round!
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
03 February 2016 @ 07:52 pm
I would like to take this opportunity to an extend a very gracious "thank you" to the honourable members for Corby, Wellingborough, and Shipley for assuring my that my farrago of sartorial missteps were not as lurid as they might otherwise have been. For such a magnificent feat the honourable gentlemen have earned my undying gratitude. I look forward to the almost inevitable eventuality of the gentlemen's opponents attempting to go one better.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
26 December 2015 @ 06:29 pm
 ...

*Opens another bottle of wine*
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
13 December 2015 @ 04:25 pm
 Despite rumours to the contrary, I think it is important for honourable and right honourable members to note that I currently do not have any plans to announce an "early retirement", thank you so very much. When the time is right, an announcement about the Speakership will be made in the usual way, through the usual channels, and attempting jockeying for position in an election that hasn't yet been announced is entirely superfluous.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
14 September 2015 @ 06:52 pm
For those unfortunate enough to have missed what is a first in British history - a sitting Speaker of the House of Commons addressing the TUC annual congress - some very organised soul has put up a video of my speech, should anyone wish to see what exactly it is they may have unintentionally missed out on.

While of course it would be entirely improper for me to make any political point regarding the recent internal Labour party elections and subsequent reshuffle, I think I am safe in saying that it will be a delight to see both the new and returning faces on the frontbench once more.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
27 August 2015 @ 08:17 am
 
 For those unfortunate enough to miss my interview for at the Edinburgh Festival, the University of Edinburgh Business School have very helpfully provided a recording of it free of charge should anyone be curious as to what was said at the event.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
03 August 2015 @ 06:28 pm
As I am sure many of you are already aware by now, I have agreed to become the first Speaker of the House of Commons to address the Trade Unions' Congress in Brighton next month at the 147th annual meeting of the unions. I will be following in the steps of the Bank of England Governor Mark Carney and a cornucopia of other distinguished guests in speaking at the event.

I am certain, should anyone be unfortunate enough to happen to miss this historic occasion, that copies of the speech will be available in a plethora of formats shortly after it has taken place.

For those others, I look forward to seeing you at Congress.
 
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
06 July 2015 @ 06:20 pm

FROM:John Bercow <BERCOWJ@parliament.uk>
TO:Members of the House of Commons;
CC:Staff of the House of Commons; Parliamentary Staff;
BCC: 
SUBJECT:Emergency Debate










Dear colleagues,

I am almost certain that honourable and right honourable members have been made aware of the changes to tomorrow's scheduling, but just in case anyone was missed out, I thought it prudent to alert the whole House to the recent update:

There is to be an emergency three hour debate on the proposed changes to standing orders, colloquially known as "English Votes for English Laws" or "EVEL". This debate has been granted as a response to Alistair Carmichael's application on the subject and the subsequent show of support for the motion that the House expressed. I do hope that all interested parties are now able to fully express and debate the wishes and concerns of their constituents on the matter.

If any member has an issue with regards to the emergency debate that they would like to be seen to, please do not hesitate to get in contact with Speaker's Office.

Sincerely,

John Bercow
Speaker of the House of Commons

----------------------------
John Bercow MP
House of Commons
Westminster
London
SW1A 0AA
020 7219 6346

 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
While of course I am well aware of the government's reforming zeal when it comes to standing orders, and without of course wishing to offer a personal or political viewpoint on the recent proposals, it does strike one as slighting interesting to note the change in the way the role of the Speaker has been viewed under this Prime Minister. If these proposals should pass, it is my understanding that myself as well as my successors would undoubtedly do what is in the best interest of the House within the regulations, whatever those regulations may ultimately be.

And while of course I would not wish to put forward an opinion on the substance of the motion before the House, I would just like to say that it is very heartening indeed to see so many honourable and right honourable members so enthused and passionate about procedural matters and issues.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
30 June 2015 @ 01:20 pm
 *The saddest part about packing away Sally's things wasn't so much the removal of the items themselves, or the memories they had evoked as John carefully put them in the box, but the dawning realisation that Sally had all but moved out of her own accord quite a while ago. When he'd gone to empty her wardrobe he'd found it empty bar an old dress he knew she hadn't worn in years and a jacket she'd never really liked. All her favourite mugs were already in the Battersea flat, as were her DVDs. When John had met Sally in the car park to hand over a few final things, there hadn't been much more than a tennis racquet, a few old photos and a book she'd left behind.*

*Walking back through Speaker's House John thought that it hardly looked different. A little bare, perhaps, but not compared to the emptiness John usually recognised once the Christmas decorations came down every year. Finding one of Sally's odd socks in the wash was more strange than it was sad. He found an empty box and put it in cupboard in the hallway; in the unlikely event that he found anything else of Sally's, at least he'd have somewhere out of sight to put it.*

*He sat down in his chair with a cup of tea, musing. It was probably a mistake to unexpectedly drop in on the All Party Parliamentary Group on Autism's meeting the previous evening but they seemed to take his comments in the spirit consciously intended. And the vultures of the press appear to have found another Westminster marriage falling apart to pick apart with glee.*

*Without thinking about it a great deal, he started to fiddle with his wedding ring. He found himself wondering if he should take it off. He dismissed the idea quickly - he was still married. If one is married, one wears one's wedding ring. To think otherwise is... well, it is disrespectful in the extreme. Besides, even if he did wish to remove it at any point, John's not sure he physically could; his physique has changed ever so slightly in the 13 years he and Sally had... have been married.*

*John take a sip of his tea and tries to move his thoughts on.*
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
28 May 2015 @ 07:30 pm
I would just like to say to you bastards members both new and ancient old a sincere fuck thank you for the stupid, inconsiderate and downright deplorable manner in which the recent and early catastrophes debates and self-congratulatory masturbatory soliloquies discussions in the House have been conducted.

After an initial display of arrogant ignorance and entirely misplaced self-importance bump, it is good to know that the Scottish invasion forces are far more bark than bite we are once again doing as I say on the same page and working together effectively as it should be since I am in fact the sodding Speaker.

Are we going to able to continue this tense and unpleasant amicable exchange of pompous bullshit discourse uninterrupted? I am enough of a cynic realist to accept that that will not be the case, but it is my misplaced sincere hope that the majority of the interactions which take place within the Chamber can be not a complete waste of my time fruitful and cooperative. Any assistance that honourable and right honourable members can provide by doing exactly as I say and not behaving like jumped-up school children on their first night away from home to this end would be expected greatly appreciated by not just myself but, I am sure, by members throughout the whole house.

Fuck the lot of you.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
18 May 2015 @ 03:11 pm

FROM:John Bercow <BERCOWJ@parliament.uk>
TO:Members of the House of Commons;
CC:Staff of the House of Commons; Parliamentary Staff;
BCC: 
SUBJECT:The Speakership










Dear colleagues,

I would just like to take this opportunity to extend a thank you to all those Honourable and Right Honourable Members who today helped express the will of the House during the election for the Speakership. I would also like to welcome all new members to the House and look forward to working constructively with all of you in the near future.

Sincerely,

John Bercow
Speaker of the House of Commons

----------------------------
John Bercow MP
House of Commons
Westminster
London
SW1A 0AA
020 7219 6346
 
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
*It's evening by the time John gets to look at his paperwork. After the hectic business of the final day of parliament, the drive to Buckingham and rushing between constituency meetings seems serene in comparison. John had bundled a stack of papers into bright blue carrier bags and thrown them on the back seat before he'd kissed Sally goodbye. The children were still asleep when he had left but he'd see them later in the week.*

*He had gone to the car in his slippers and moth-eaten jumper and nodded politely at the neighbours as he fumbled in the back for his luggage. He returned to the living room with the papers, Radio 3 playing something inoffensive and unmemorable.*

*It was a good half an hour until he saw an envelope hidden among the drafts of election material and out of date order papers. John recognised the handwriting and frowned in confusion. Why was Peter sending him a letter?*

*Ever cautious, John takes the unopened letter through to the kitchen and draws out a protective circle in salt on the counter top. He places the envelope in the centre and carefully opens it.*

*No demons escape. He can't see any hexes springing forth. There doesn't seem to be any potion leaking onto the side. John opens the envelope wider and takes a look inside it.*

*There is a card. Just a card. John pulls it out of the envelope to examine it.*

*YOU ARE TOTALLY SCREWED the card reads. John rolls his eyes and opens it anyway.*

*He is taken aback at the contents. In addition to the printed message, the other man has scrawled "Try not to embarrass yourself - Peter" in one of the hidden folds.*

*John suddenly feels bad for removing Peter's thumbs.*

*He tidies up the kitchen and goes back to the living room, the radio forgotten. It takes him a while but eventually he composes a reply.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Have just found your note. Thank you. In Buckingham. Reference should you need it.

-John
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
26 March 2015 @ 06:18 pm
 
*John closed the heavy wooden door of Speaker's House behind him and headed straight for the whisky. Speaker's whisky, reminded himself, because he's still Speaker, despite the best efforts of the government.

How he'd managed to make it through the vote and reading out the results without hexing the entire government front bench into a collection of small rodents and toads he'd yet to work out, but he had. He'd kept his cool and he was still here. He was still Speaker.

Tomorrow he'd have to go to his constituency - with the election less than two months away every moment had to count - but for tonight, just for a while, he could afford to sit and try to relax. There was nothing the bastards could to him tonight.

John collapsed into one of the overstuffed armchairs (Speaker's armchairs) and took a long sip from his drink.*
 
 
Current Location: Speaker's House
 
 
bamfbercow
14 June 2014 @ 07:54 am
What for, I hear many of you ask? For her entry in the Birthday Honours list. Our dear Dawn is to be made Dame Primarolo! Well done and congratulations.

I also wish to extend congratulations to Bill Cash and to Nicholas Soames, both of whom are to become knights. Well deserved all round.
 
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
26 May 2014 @ 06:58 pm
For those interested in the first in my series of books regarding the history of tennis, there's a very nice little interview in The Guardian.