bamfbercow
Dear colleagues,

In light of recent events, security will be tightened across the Parliamentary estate.

That is all.

-John
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
13 May 2013 @ 03:02 pm
Colleagues should be made aware that I am in the course of deliberating the pros and cons of selecting the particular amendment I know has been causing such a stir at the moment. Should it be selected, the debate would be held on Wednesday, whether or not the Prime Minister is there to participate in the proceedings.

I apologise for the delay, but personal matters have kept me rather busy at the moment.
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
28 April 2013 @ 03:47 pm
*Fed up of filling in yet another incident report (the morning's feelings of triumph and righteousness fading), John grabs his work phone and sends around a quick message. Somewhere in the background, he can hear Sally cackling with glee at something to do with Ed Balls. He doesn't worry a great deal about it.*

Text from 078## ######

Dear all,

Whomsoever is responsible for the numerous suspicious packages and fires across the Parliamentary estate must halt their actions immediately or face legal repercussions.

Those with information about the culprit(s) behind these mindless acts are encouraged to come forward anonymously post-haste.

-John

*Text sent, John goes to make himself another cup of tea before sitting down to do some more paperwork.*
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
23 April 2013 @ 07:46 pm
*It had been a long time since John had actually planned an act of revenge, but the events of the weekend had proved to be too tempting even for him. After the bee incident, John had gone home to his family, wanting to make sure he was back before they arrived. Delayed by traffic, it had taken them longer than they had thought it would to get home. In the spare time John, brain still reminding John that not only had Peter caused the incident but that he had been watching and record as John fled from the swam, had called up The Machine for a quick chat. Ever the politician, John had persuaded The Machine to switch off the automatic monitoring which watched every one of John's moves.*

*Intermittent signal and the now modern tradition of switching off one's phone during important meetings meant that for almost two days solid while in Plymouth, John was without a properly functioning mobile phone - he'd managed to stay in contact with Sally and the children via landline, and even then only just. As he approached London again at the end of his trip, he become keenly aware of reentering consistent mobile phone coverage as his phone began to buzz on the seat next to him (thank Merlin for the silent option!). When the phone stopped vibrating, he picked it up to scroll through the messages. Even by his standards there were a lot of missed texts. The majority were work-related, so he skipped over those, vowing to get back to them once he was in the office. A few were from Robert, commenting that he'd felt quite odd since the funeral and could John think of a reason why. The rest - quite a few of them - were from Peter.*

*John began to read through them. There were a number of invitations to watch the next episode of Question Time together, some even with the offer of Peter's wine cellar. A few were general inquiries regarding John's whereabouts (the tone shifting from mild curiosity to what, if John didn't know Peter better, one could almost assume was worry) and the rest were a combination of insults and updates regarding the Westminster village. John couldn't help but smirk - if going AWOL for a weekend provoked this sort of reaction from Peter, John would have to try it again in the near future.*

*When John had returned to work the next day, he went to see Robert in the hopes that whatever was bothering him would have now passed. Instead, after only a short conversation, it became clear to John that some sort of magic was at play. Whenever Robert attempted to talk about the details of the funeral, he voice would fall silent; he couldn't talk about it. Even topics only tangentially related to the funeral (the guests in attendance, for instance) caused Robert to cut out. It didn't take long for John to put two and two together.*

*Deciding that killing two birds with one stone was a good plan, John bid Robert goodbye, vowing he would get to the bottom of the situation, and texted Peter.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Free for a drink later?

-John
 
 
 
 
bamfbercow
05 September 2012 @ 05:52 am
*John awakens with a start. He hadn't slept well at all last night, falling asleep late and now waking up preposterously early. Next to him, Sally is fast asleep. Carefully, trying not to wake his wife, John climbs out of bed, puts on his slippers and makes his way to the kitchen to get himself a cup of coffee.*

*There is a strange, nagging feeling - like he's forgetting something incredibly important - gnawing away at the back of his mind as he pours boiling water over instant coffee granules. He looks around the kitchen as he stirs in his milk. Did he forget to load the dishwasher? No, the blinking lights show that it's already run. He catches sight of one of Freddie's drawings stuck to the fridge with magnets. No, the children go back to school tomorrow, not today. Had he missed an important birthday, perhaps? Checking the calendar would be a wise move, he decides, and makes his way over to the notice board.*

*Despite it being the 5th of September, the calendar still shows August. John snorts - it shows just how organised the Bercow household it. He flips the page over.*

*In bright red ink, a star surrounds the date with the letters "DEFRA DAY" almost carved into the page.*

*John nearly drops his drink and curses under his breath.*

*He puts the mug down on the kitchen counter and runs to the pile of paperwork he got from DEFRA for Peter's continued containment. Thankfully, there is a summary page at the top. He scans through it, realising he has far more to do that he first thought. How had he got so complacent about this?*

*John knew the answer - because the werewolf in question was someone he considered a friend. Impartiality, John, remember? He nearly kicked himself in frustration.*

*He rereads the summary. The final bits of paperwork - a timetable for any additional guardians looking after the wolf in the owners absence, for example - should be quick and easy enough to do.*

*The collar on the other hand...*

*John recalls how positively Peter reacted to it the first time. There isn't enough time between now and the inspection to convince him to wear it, he frets. He'll try and argue the regulations with the inspectors which will more than likely result in him being dragged away to be... to be...

*There was nothing else for it. Peter may hate him in the short term - and quite possibly the long term as well - but if Peter wanted to remain alive and out of the hands of the werewolf experimentation team, then John'll have to get the collar on him somehow.*

*John grabs the collar from its bag and heads through the fireplace to Peter's cell.*
 
 
bamfbercow
02 September 2012 @ 02:29 pm
*Having left Peter to his private phone call, John goes through the fireplace and arrives back in his living room. He really should call Frances and try and get this paperwork sorted. He goes through to his study and picks up the house phone. Without the contacts list in his mobile phone, John has no idea what numbers to dial.*

*Thankfully, the paper index is sitting right next to him. He flicks through it and finds D'Souzza's number.*

*He dials and waits for her to pick up.*

Good morning, Frances, John here. I hope I didn't wake you...?
 
 
bamfbercow
31 August 2012 @ 10:34 am
*John is woken by his phone buzzing next to his ear. Having had it switched off for most of the holiday, he is unused to the alarm and nearly falls out of bed. He checks the message. Peter's fine, it would seem, if a little grumpy, but interior decoration does that on occasion.*

*John stretches and tries not to wake Sally up as he gets out of bed. A cup of tea later and John is sitting, typing away at the laptop Sally left open and on - even in her sleep she can't stand her infernal gadgets being switched off - to get the day's news. He looks up what happened regarding the situation in Regent's Park the previous night.*

*The details are few and far between but John gets the gist of the story - a wolf (a giant one in some interpretations) attacked two people in the Park. Both are hospitalized and the outlook is bleak. John reads the details of the injuries. An expert on wild animal attacks he is not, but even to him the list of broken bones and bashed-in skulls seem too much for a lone wolf. A bear, perhaps, but not a wolf. Unless it was a very large wolf.*

A large wolf... a large wolf...

*Suddenly, a thought strikes him.*

No. No, it couldn't possibly... that's ridiculous, John. There haven't been wild werewolves in London for decades.

*John tries to put the thought to the back of his mind. He opens up the BBCNews website and a particular story grabs his interest.*

A fire? Most odd... I shall have to speak to Black Rod when I get back...

*Despite trying his best to ignore the growing feeling of unease by distracting himself with the news items of less immediate importance, John cannot resist testing his theory. A quick Google search shows him the phases of the moon. Tonight is the full moon. All of a sudden, things seem a lot more serious.*

Oh dear...

*He quickly grabs his phone and sends a text to every witch and wizard he has in his contact book.*

Text from 078## ######

Arriving back from holiday later today and request an urgent meeting with all magical folk in or able to get back to London this morning. Preliminary research has indicated the possibility of a lycanthropic outbreak in the city.

-John

*The message sent, John hurriedly sets about packing his things away and getting ready to head back to London by himself. If there really is a werewolf running around London he doesn't want his family anywhere near the city.*
 
 
bamfbercow
14 August 2012 @ 01:31 pm
For all those interested, extracts from my World at One interview can be found here.

As for my trip to South Africa, updates are available on the Twitter by following the tag-thing #SpeakerinSA, or so I've been told. I'm sure that if I am mistaken, Sally will be prompt in informing me.
 
 
Current Location: South Africa
 
 
bamfbercow
17 July 2012 @ 07:24 pm
...to ring in the summer recess.

 
 
bamfbercow
13 July 2012 @ 06:41 pm
The House will sit on Monday and Tuesday and then go into recess until Monday 3rd September 2012.

I discussed the summer recess as well as many other issues regarding Parliament and politics with Radio 1 earlier, for any and all that are interested in such matters.
 
 
bamfbercow
...my address Aung San Suu Kyi made in Westminster Hall earlier today is freely available to read here, should you so desire.
 
 
bamfbercow
06 June 2012 @ 08:19 am
I had lunch with the Queen! I had lunch with the Queen! I had lunch with the Queen!

A most gratifying day all round, I should think. Her Majesty seemed to enjoy the celebrations as, I am sure, did the vast majority of the rest of the population. The service at St Pauls was marvellous and thoroughly well received by all who attended - it was also rather pleasant to see so many colleagues there too.

I sincerely hope that all honourable and right honourable members, as well as our friends in the other place, had as an enjoyable day as I did.
 
 
bamfbercow
09 May 2012 @ 08:58 am
It's almost time - I had better get my official robes ready...

I trust that I shall see you all there in due course.
 
 
bamfbercow
01 May 2012 @ 02:08 pm
The House is now prorogued. The State Opening for the 2012-13 parliamentary session will be on Wednesday 9th May 2012.
 
 
bamfbercow
23 March 2012 @ 05:27 pm
 
It's good to see that incorrect information in the media is being challenged by those it misrepresents.
 
 
bamfbercow
20 March 2012 @ 06:27 pm
First the address to the Queen this morning, then Questions to the Deputy Prime Minister followed by the emergency debate on the publication of the NHS transitional risk register... I've been rushed off my feet.

Time to wind down, if only for a short while, I think, then prepare for not presiding over the Budget tomorrow.

*opens a bottle of wine*
 
 
bamfbercow
08 March 2012 @ 08:35 am
Alastair,

Thank you for the thank you letter. As my wife has already said, it was a privilege to host the evening and a delight to see you again.

Warmest regards,

John
 
 
bamfbercow
27 February 2012 @ 08:33 am
 
I'm glad at least one person recognises the impact of my recent reforms.
 
 
bamfbercow
24 February 2012 @ 03:03 pm
 
Not a bad little article in the end - and it is most gratifying having the full transcript up too.
 
 
bamfbercow
18 February 2012 @ 06:24 pm
 
Another complete and utter non-story doing the rounds, but it is nice to be back at home.