bamfbercow
02 December 2012 @ 11:22 am
*With Sally back on twitter John thinks it can only be a matter of time before they have to downsize again to pay for legal fees. He hopes her return with distract from the blasted Private Eye parody account but doesn't hold out much hope. Instead, he focuses on flicking through the property pages of the newspapers in an attempt to find a new, cheaper home, should they need it.*

*A large box of Roses chocolates is empty on the table next to him, the colourful wrappers strewn all over the floor. John reaches for the new box of Celebrations as he turns the page.*
 
 
bamfbercow
30 August 2012 @ 10:01 pm
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Sally says Twitter is abuzz with goings on in Regent's Park. Hope you're not involved and instead curled up with your latest plans to enslave the government.

-John
 
 
Current Mood: worried
 
 
bamfbercow
27 June 2011 @ 08:45 pm
 
S-Sally, I don't think Oliver spilling his dinner quite warranted that level of-

No, no, no, no, no! I-I'm sure giving up smoking is very difficult indeed, its merely that-

Of course it's got nothing to do with that! You were- were fine on Wall of Fame the other-

I-I mean, more than fine. Better. Better than fine. Good. Great! You were-

Of course not, Sally, you were quite clearly the most attractive-

Gah! Sally! P-put the cushion down and- and I'll take the children away for a few days so you can have some peace and quiet until you calm do-

No! You're being perfectly rational and-
 
Of course I don't want to stop the children seeing their teachers on strike! It's- it's -it's a v-vital part of-
 
I-I'm trying to help, my dear, just t-tell me what I have to do and-
 
ARGH! Very well! I'll clean it up! You go for coffee and-
 
...No, Freddie, everything is fine. Mummy's just tired. She'll be back nice and calm in a short while. How about making her a nice card in the meantime, hmm? ...Yes, I'm sure dinosaurs would be an appropriate theme. What about sticking some of those shells we picked up from the beach and cleaned the other day? Yes, yes, I'll get them for you - why don't you go and get your brother to help you, there's a good boy?
 
 
 
bamfbercow
31 March 2011 @ 09:35 pm
I have been a bit odd lately - being happy and acting in a competant manner and so on - and Sally has managed to stay out of the spotlight recently - that successfully small interview, refusing to publicly comment on the book - maybe I should get her a gift...

Oh, maybe I could get an Eddy Stobart lorry named after her, I know she'd like that...

5 year waiting list, hmm?

Well, I suppose I could put her name down on the li-

...She wants one as a memorial?

A little unconventional, but I suppose we could always put it in the wi-

...And the suggestion results in crude innuendo. Marvellous.
Flowers it is, in that case.
 
 
bamfbercow
24 March 2011 @ 12:45 pm
Hm.  
That... was far more positive than I feared. Undoubtedly Sally will be over the moon at the end comments of the last chapter (she absolutely does not need any more encouragement, thank you so very much indeed) and there were surprisingly fewer factual errors than first thought especially after I corrected the ones that were present.
 
In other news:  Peter, Ms Cooper and Mr Balls, Peppa told me to pass along her well wishes.
 
 
Current Mood: Pleasantly surprised
 
 
bamfbercow
03 March 2011 @ 09:48 pm
Why won't my sofa bed turn from a sofa into a bed? What did you do to it?!
 
 
bamfbercow
19 February 2011 @ 05:58 pm
Good Lord, did everyone decide to take their children to the Natural History Museum on the first day of half term? At least Oliver enjoyed himself, even if I didn't.
 
 
Current Mood: tired
 
 
bamfbercow
18 February 2011 @ 07:18 am
Fantastic start to the day. Sofa bed ordered, caught up with Sally's appearance on 10 O'Clock Live and it was far, far, far better than I dared to think, the coffee machine decided to work first time for once...

It's good to be me.
 
 
Current Mood: chipper
 
 
bamfbercow
14 February 2011 @ 05:59 pm
Well, I suppose the only thing to do is laugh.

I'd got everything prepared for a lovely night in - the children are staying with friends tonight, I'd got the ingredients for Sally's favorite three course dinner prepared, I'd bought a bottle of her favorite non-alcoholic champagne, two dozen red roses and a hand chosen box of chocolates - but when I made it home with my surprise gifts after a long day in the House, what did I find? My dear, sweet, darling wife, curled up in bed, snoring, surrounded by Valentine's cards sent to her by other men I'm almost positive I recognized Iain Dale's handwriting on at least one of them, the empty wrapper of my facetious Valentine's present screwed up on the floor just short of the bin.

It occurs to me I should also point out for the record that the bedsheets incident does not count as a Valentine's Day gift, and that being 'kinda' 'electromagnetic' is not a compliment.

Oh Sally...
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
bamfbercow
03 February 2011 @ 08:00 pm
 
For crying out loud...

I need a drink.
 
 
bamfbercow
See, I didn't get splinched; I knew I'd be fine.

Now, coffee table in the living room Peter said... if it's anything living I may scream.

So where is i...



Oh.