05 February 2014 @ 09:21 am
*Another day and another slew of "news stories" about his marriage to Sally. John really shouldn't be surprised by it now, but he is - how difficult is it for the media at large to understand that his marriage to Sally is of note only to himself and to Sally; whatever works for us is for us and us alone to worry about. Why is that so difficult for them to grasp? And while not all the stories are negative, it does not change the very simple fact that the state of his marriage is not - or at the very least, should not - be worthy of being splashed across newspaper front page after newspaper front page.*

*After he'd returned from having curry with Ken Clarke and Sally had finished her twitter spat with Owen Jones the previous evening, Sally had sat him down and shown him some of the positive comments made about him on twitter. He'd been particularly fond of Louise Mensch's comments and retelling of a certain Autumn Statement incident. He couldn't help but beam with pride at Zac Goldsmith's remark, as well as all the follow up comments in agreement.*

*All that was left for him to do now was to try and remember those words of encouragement rather than red-top headlines when the almost inevitable jibes at Prime Minister's Questions this afternoon...*

Sally is my wife not my chattel, appendage, or add-on!

If she does not wish to attend the funeral, she is at perfect liberty to decline the invitation. She is her own woman, makes her own decisions and they are not related to me in any way, shape or form.

The mere fact that I have to point this out yet again is proof that the media and politics as a whole still has a great deal to improve on when it comes to the way it portrays women.
15 November 2012 @ 05:44 pm
*John and the children are on their way to see Peter and The Machine. With Sally busy talking to her lawyer, it seemed like a good idea to get out of the house and let her sort things out by herself. With a letter due soon, the more preparation, the better. John would offer to help, but he's spending most of his free time trying to convince large swathes of the media and population that he's not "a bully" who is "interfering" and "forcing people out" at all.*

*With all that happening at home, a nice little trip to see The Machine would hopefully distract the children and tire them out so John and Sally can get back to saving their reputations - and jobs.*

*Peter is waiting for them when they arrive. Freddie, as usual, run to greet Uncle Peter, while Oliver attempts to act cool. Jemima, meanwhile, seems to be fascinated with some part or other of The Machine and John has to carry her away from the buttons.*

Hello, Peter.
04 November 2012 @ 05:54 pm
The trick with the placing of numberplates in the Palace of Westminster car park was not in the least bit humourous.

Refraining from such attempts again would more than likely be in your best interest.
28 March 2012 @ 08:03 pm
A few Tweets taken out of all possible context and proportion does not constitute a story, or at the very least it shouldn't; my wife and I are in total agreement on this point, I think you will find.
23 March 2012 @ 05:27 pm
It's good to see that incorrect information in the media is being challenged by those it misrepresents.
22 October 2011 @ 07:58 pm
My personal feelings have absolutely nothing to do with this and, as per usual, I will do what is in the interest of Parliament and the nation as a whole.

Be that as it may, certain other rumours are true to an extent, yet I will not have anything to do with them.

Why, Sally? Why?!?!?
05 August 2011 @ 09:09 am
As those of you that follow my wife on the Twitter-sphere-thing will no doubt be aware by now, the family and I are taking a short break in Devon this year. As such, I will be unable to be contacted until further notice. If anything of importance arises in my absence, feel free to leave a message and I will be sure to get back to you in as short a time as possible.

I would just like it noted that certain rumours about my wife and a particular television show or comments that she is giving 'serious' thought to such suggestions will not be classed as important and as such will not receive a timely reply.
12 June 2011 @ 12:53 pm
 Yes, Sally, I do remember Derek, but that's no reason for you to-

It was one piece in a publication I've only very recently described as a "sexist, racist, bigoted, co-

I'm more annoyed with the picture from the 2001 campaign to be perfectly frank, Sally, since I am sure that I asked for those to be-
I do believe everyone accepts that I and my views have changed significantly since my days in the Monda-

No, Sally, please don't do anything unwise.

Sally, step away from the computer.

No, Sally.


You didn't need to do that, Sally, it's not going to even remotely help anything. Just ignore him and he'll go away soon enough.