15 June 2016 @ 06:52 am
 First to the new Lords' Speaker elected, one [personal profile] lord_fowler who will be taking up his new role in September. [personal profile] dasouzzle I am sure that you will be much missed by members of the other place and your continued support and expertise has been invaluable to me over the years that you have held the incredible post. Norman certainly has some very big boots to fill!

And second of all I do believe that we should all be congratulating [personal profile] therealpm on his new position also - that of Chancellor of Manchester Metropolitan University. 
Peter's new robes
Good luck trying to take the piss out of my official robes of state again, Peter - at least I don't wear a stupid hat...

Congratulations all round!
03 February 2016 @ 07:52 pm
I would like to take this opportunity to an extend a very gracious "thank you" to the honourable members for Corby, Wellingborough, and Shipley for assuring my that my farrago of sartorial missteps were not as lurid as they might otherwise have been. For such a magnificent feat the honourable gentlemen have earned my undying gratitude. I look forward to the almost inevitable eventuality of the gentlemen's opponents attempting to go one better.
26 December 2015 @ 06:29 pm

*Opens another bottle of wine*
13 December 2015 @ 04:25 pm
 Despite rumours to the contrary, I think it is important for honourable and right honourable members to note that I currently do not have any plans to announce an "early retirement", thank you so very much. When the time is right, an announcement about the Speakership will be made in the usual way, through the usual channels, and attempting jockeying for position in an election that hasn't yet been announced is entirely superfluous.
While of course I am well aware of the government's reforming zeal when it comes to standing orders, and without of course wishing to offer a personal or political viewpoint on the recent proposals, it does strike one as slighting interesting to note the change in the way the role of the Speaker has been viewed under this Prime Minister. If these proposals should pass, it is my understanding that myself as well as my successors would undoubtedly do what is in the best interest of the House within the regulations, whatever those regulations may ultimately be.

And while of course I would not wish to put forward an opinion on the substance of the motion before the House, I would just like to say that it is very heartening indeed to see so many honourable and right honourable members so enthused and passionate about procedural matters and issues.
26 March 2015 @ 06:18 pm
*John closed the heavy wooden door of Speaker's House behind him and headed straight for the whisky. Speaker's whisky, reminded himself, because he's still Speaker, despite the best efforts of the government.

How he'd managed to make it through the vote and reading out the results without hexing the entire government front bench into a collection of small rodents and toads he'd yet to work out, but he had. He'd kept his cool and he was still here. He was still Speaker.

Tomorrow he'd have to go to his constituency - with the election less than two months away every moment had to count - but for tonight, just for a while, he could afford to sit and try to relax. There was nothing the bastards could to him tonight.

John collapsed into one of the overstuffed armchairs (Speaker's armchairs) and took a long sip from his drink.*
Current Location: Speaker's House
14 June 2014 @ 07:54 am
What for, I hear many of you ask? For her entry in the Birthday Honours list. Our dear Dawn is to be made Dame Primarolo! Well done and congratulations.

I also wish to extend congratulations to Bill Cash and to Nicholas Soames, both of whom are to become knights. Well deserved all round.
01 May 2014 @ 08:56 am
I am sure I speak for the whole House when I wish Sir Robert all the best in his new life away from Parliament. Having spent 42 years working for the House, 10 of those being as a clerk, it is clear that a well deserved rest is in order. It has been an honour and a privilege to work alongside you for many years. Good luck, Sir Robert; you shall be missed.

For those who missed my splendid rendition of it in the House earlier, Sir Robert's resignation letter can be found here.

18 July 2013 @ 06:32 pm
With regard to the kind soul who left their carnation on the Chair's arm for me after the consideration of Lords amendments to the Marriage (Same-Sex Couples) Bill, I would just like to say a short thank you for your kindness; it was greatly appreciated, whomsoever you are.

Secondly, I would like to ensure that all honourable and right honourable members of both houses are aware of the fact that the aforementioned bill has since gained Royal Assent and become law. I am certain I speak for all members of Her Majesty's legislature when I say that we are grateful for her speedy action of what has proven to be a somewhat surprisingly contentious issue. Perhaps now that hurdle has been passed, I should turn my attention to W.A.S.P.S and their aims once more...

On a personal note, Sir Robert your charming comments in your recent interview did not go unnoticed.

I think that is all for now. If I don't have the pleasure of seeing my dear colleagues during the summer recess, I look forward to our eventual meeting again on September 2nd.
10 July 2013 @ 06:52 pm
*When Freddie first pointed it out to him, John didn't quite get what he was looking at - to him, the marks on the ground just looked like old grass in need of a bit of water. It wasn't until the child opened up some computer program or other and drew a few lines on top of the image that John realised what he was actually looking at.*

A summoning circle?!

Yes... w-well spotted, Freddie. Thank you.

*John wasn't entirely sure why but his first instinct was to yell at Peter. Remembering how well going with his instincts had served him in the past, John opted to text the Lord instead.*

Text from 078## ######


Have you got a minute? I need a second opinion on something and your expertise would be much appreciated.

07 July 2013 @ 06:58 pm
He's done it!

*Celebrates in a manner which, should the tabloids see, would be deemed "inappropriate for the office of Speaker".*

*Thankfully the Andy Murray's historic victory overshadows some more personal and pressing matters closer to home.*
22 June 2013 @ 06:01 pm
Four years in the Speaker's chair today! Oh goodness me how time flies when one is having such fun.

Here's to a good few more at the very least.

*Knocks back a glass of expensive wine to celebrate*
13 May 2013 @ 03:02 pm
Colleagues should be made aware that I am in the course of deliberating the pros and cons of selecting the particular amendment I know has been causing such a stir at the moment. Should it be selected, the debate would be held on Wednesday, whether or not the Prime Minister is there to participate in the proceedings.

I apologise for the delay, but personal matters have kept me rather busy at the moment.
28 April 2013 @ 03:47 pm
*Fed up of filling in yet another incident report (the morning's feelings of triumph and righteousness fading), John grabs his work phone and sends around a quick message. Somewhere in the background, he can hear Sally cackling with glee at something to do with Ed Balls. He doesn't worry a great deal about it.*

Text from 078## ######

Dear all,

Whomsoever is responsible for the numerous suspicious packages and fires across the Parliamentary estate must halt their actions immediately or face legal repercussions.

Those with information about the culprit(s) behind these mindless acts are encouraged to come forward anonymously post-haste.


*Text sent, John goes to make himself another cup of tea before sitting down to do some more paperwork.*
17 July 2012 @ 07:24 pm ring in the summer recess.

26 June 2012 @ 09:51 am
*John drives the children to school and drops them off. The children can tell he isn't very happy and make sure to cuddle him extra hard when they get out of the card which only serves to make John feel even guiltier. He catches sight of a second-hand book shop across the road and has an idea.*

*John gets back in the car and drives to the part of London where the majority of the magical stores are located. He parks and rushes to an old bookshop he knows is full of very expensive, very old books. After a brief chat with the shop owner wherein John explains what he's trying to find, a very large, very old, very dusty potions book is brought out of an locked display case. John flicks through it - the illustrations are glorious and the book itself is in rather good condition for its ages, even if some of the leather hardback cover is broken and faded. John buys the book, inwardly wincing at the price but handing over the full amount as well as a tip for the shop owner for helping out to swiftly. John returns to the car, book in a large brown paper bag, and drives back to Westminster.*

*On the way back he stops at stationary shop nearby and picks up a card. When he arrives home, John writes what is for him a very succinct apology - making it clear that the apology comes from him in a personal capacity and not in his role as Speaker - and puts the card in the envelope. John then takes the book out of the bag and arranges the envelope on top of it.*

Hmmm... still not quite right... There's got to be something else I can...

*A thought strikes. John rushes downstairs to the parliamentary wine cellar. Having no idea which wine to pick, he scurries through the rows and rows of bottles to find the one that looks to be the most expensive. John picks one and returns to his living room. He rearranges his gift again until he is happy with the composition. Then John transports it to Peter's house, hoping he hasn't upped the wards to immediately incinerate anything with John's magical signature on it.*
15 May 2012 @ 10:37 am
For those of you that were unforunate enough to miss the full extent of Peter's recent journal update, I have a screenshot here for you all to enjoy.
11 January 2012 @ 04:06 pm

I am sure you noted my well wishes in the chamber but I still felt it pertinent to wish you a happy birthday in a more personal manner.

Current Mood: chipper